Old age and youth

Lately, I have been missing you
Feeling the absence of your warmth
in this cold winter breeze,
I am apologetic
For when you were here
In the hot afternoons of the summer
I missed you out,
And I feel bad for another
Who had missed me so
long back in my youth.

Now I know your sorrow
I know that I have hurt you
But I hope you also know
That I love you like I loved the another
And still do,
And I miss both of you,
I miss my old age and my youth.



I don’t know what to tell you
If you were really listening,
What do I write if I have to, need to
Would you really read, and more than would you understand
That nothing is right in my life
Right now,
All is just wrong
Right now,
I feel lowest than I have ever felt
Right now,
I feel more than depressed
Right now,
I am lost more than I have even been
Right now,
I am so detached that I can hear my heart’s din
Right now,
I just want to away
Right now,
I don’t want to live anymore
Right now,
Wish I had the courage to die.


My mind has grown hands
And they have popped out of my skull
And the claw-like fingers
Are squeezing my neck
Choking me, suffocating, slicing me slowly
And no matter where I walk
Which side I put my head to sleep
These hands refuse leave.

Weeping and sweating
Withered and moaning
Is the straggled cry of a memory
Walking circles in a time that is over
Tracing onto foot prints trodden
Hoping to profoundly discover
Sailing on to the same shores forever

GO AWAY! shouts a soul to a mind weary and heart dry

And I light a smoke
Let the rings sing
As my heart tries to match your beat
and I am happy that a long time ago
you died,
And soon I’ll join you in the cold
Where neither life or death survives.

Before My Eyes Burn


Would you come now?
It’s getting late, and the sun is about to set;
I haven’t seen you with my open eyes
I cannot remember since when,
Would you come now?
Find me, follow the light;
Claim the part in my life that you have earned.
And if you intend to
Then look up in the sky and follow the smoke,
My heart is ash now;
Find me before my eyes begin to burn.

To the tune of silent nights

Away from the world,
And it's deceiving ways,
I sit shrivelled up,
In solitude, and in her praise,
As the tranquil tune of the silent night, 
Plays; and plays; and plays.

Through the open window,
I gaze at the clouds,
Overlaying the starry skies,
Like a spotless shroud,
As my soul's unheard whimper,
Grow loud; and loud; and loud.

Until they are lost
In the silence that plays,
And whilst they depart,
The emptiness stays,
Amidst them the tranquil tune of the silent night,
Plays; and plays; and plays.

Therein creeps slowly her face,
Before even my senses yearn,
And utters to me in a mystical tongue,
That I try, but cannot learn,
And before even my eyes blink
It begins to burn; and burn; and burn.

And with it, burns my soul,
Tickling my heart with pain,
As I gaze into her fiery eyes,
Try hard, but fail to explain,
But my hopeful heart never fails to try
Again; and again; and again

Away from the world,
And its deceitful ways,
I sit shrivelled up,
While her ashes stay,
Amidst them the requiem of broken dreams,
Plays; and plays; and plays.


Help me, 
Would you ?
For I have fought more than I should have
More than I was meant to
And now I cannot anymore
So would you help me give up.
I have walked too fast, and for too long now
I have walked more than my feet could
And now they refuse to walk anymore,
Would you please let me stumble and fall in your embrace.
I have smiled a lot in my solitude 
I have laughed all alone 
more than anyone should
Never mind that I could,
But now I can't deceive myself anymore
So would you just look into my eyes
And let mine cry.