She holds Larry’s hands
And talks more to Barry,
It’s me she prefers to fuck
She eats her tiffin with Lily
And enjoys cocktails with Kelly,
But it’s me she loves to fuck with
She cries on Harry’s shoulders
And jokes with Carrie
But she chooses to fuck with me
She lives with her sisters
In a house that serves misters
But she loves to fuck with me.
She accepted his refusal
It squeezed out all the passion from her heart
Sucked in all the life from her soul,
Now she roams zombie-like, undead
And the cold words of people don’t instil shiver in her form
The heat of jealousy doesn’t burn her gut,
Phrases of praise have lost their meaning to her
And now, she is as good as The Thinker
Who sits sculpted, contemplating a single moment
Of ache, loss, and grief
Unaware, of people, admirers and haters
She sits accepting his refusal
Like a statue of stone, in disbelief.
Every day I walk blinded
Thoughts like thick smog
Clad the light in my head,
And as the present turns into past
I lie in wait for the silence
To come and lay me to bed.
Every day pain comes
Like lightning crashes in the rain
Jolts me wide awake,
And as the day slowly transforms into night
I utter all false words of grace
Not for myself but for the world’s sake.
And then this situation called life
Again, and again; and again.
Puckered leaves winter-struck
Swish down to the dry ground,
Like ghosts that flea from the bodies of the departed,
And lie in wait for a feet or two
To crumble them into pieces,
To be lost into where they came from
And become what they were meant to be
Just particles of nature that they have always been,
And they will always be.
Lately, I have been missing you
Feeling the absence of your warmth
in this cold winter breeze,
I am apologetic
For when you were here
In the hot afternoons of the summer
I missed you out,
And I feel bad for another
Who had missed me so
long back in my youth.
Now I know your sorrow
I know that I have hurt you
But I hope you also know
That I love you like I loved the another
And still do,
And I miss both of you,
I miss my old age and my youth.
On one side dwells the dark
On the other side shines the light
Between them I oscillate like a pendulum
Unaware, which one’s there and which one’s not;
Which side should I crawl to?
The light shimmers so much
I can’t open my eyes,
The darkness looks at me,
invites me, like a friend, towards itself,
And the hinge that keeps me held
is slowly loosening;
Should I wait for it to get undone?
And see where I land,
Because here where I hang
Between light and dark
Life is but unsure
and only death seems certain,
Rest all is just a farce,
A petty game of chance.
Where is my heart?
Not sure it’s in me
I used to have a mind
But I lost it to insanity,
And now my soul
wanders in a desert of feelings
That stretches on
to nothing, to infinity.
What have I become?
Sure not someone’s dream
Feel like a blind
Lost in a storm inside the sea.
Nowhere to begin, no place to reach
And now my existence
Feels like its lost
to nothing, to infinity.