They call me every day
My mother, my father
My friends and sometimes, even my foes;
They want to check on me
They want to know what I am up to?
But when I answer their calls
I do not know what to say
I have nothing to talk about
And when they ask me
How am I doing,
I often tell the truth and sometimes I lie
But the answer is always the same
I tell that I am fine.
Oh moon, distant, yet such constant companion
As no other person has been,
Sometimes, you overwhelm me with your presence
Accompanying my silence with yours
And though I can only touch you with my eyes
In my heart shines your light,
And illuminates my world with a sacred calm
Rendering a momentary yet much desired relief,
sheltering me from the dark.
Find me a shade darker than the shadows
of all men, and beasts
Let me wallow in it, let all my agitated senses rest
Lend me a silence that surpasses that of the dead, and decayed
Let no voice be heard, no song be played,
Gift me the isolation that reigns over the stretches of the Thar
And let me the repose of soldiers dead in the war,
Let a bleak ambience take over my shape, and my soul
Make me a shade darker and stranger than the ghosts
Let me be forgotten as those trifle twigs that make up a sparrow’s nest
Find me a cocoon in which like an oblivious worm, I can lay myself to rest.
Lately, I have been missing you
Feeling the absence of your warmth
in this cold winter breeze,
I am apologetic
For when you were here
In the hot afternoons of the summer
I missed you out,
And I feel bad for another
Who had missed me so
long back in my youth.
Now I know your sorrow
I know that I have hurt you
But I hope you also know
That I love you like I loved the another
And still do,
And I miss both of you,
I miss my old age and my youth.
I just feel sad
So sad, and empty
As those ancient hallways,
Which are lost to ruins and cannot be walked upon;
an emptiness that is in front of the eyes and still unseen,
This silence that reigns over
is so silent, and dumb
That I feel as if I am a corpse
reposing, slowly decomposing in a coffin,
And though it sounds,
and feels disturbing
It is also only the usual
This sorrow, this emptiness
These hallways and the coffin,
This decaying existence- so usual
It fails to make a difference to me,
To me it just feels like run-of-the-mill,
To me this just feels like always.
My life is like the ruins of Jericho,
Ancient walls, alien and catatonic
A stagnant instance of time
neither moving ahead, nor behind;
My life is like the blinking eyes of a blind
A beggar unkind,
A ship that cannot sail, cannot sink.
All that I possess
Is a restless mind
and a heart that cannot think,
Sleepy days, wakeful nights
An abundance of drugs and colourless ink.
I am looking for people,
To talk to,
I don’t step out every other weekend
But that does not mean I am an introvert,
Don’t assume so that I cannot,
But I fail to find people I would want to go out with.
People whom I could talk to in rhymes,
People who have a stable heart and an open mind,
People who are not chained to the bells
Not scared of their chimes.
I’m searching for people
Who are ambitious but not blind,
Who are brave at heart and though they believe in fear
Are ready to give up everything,
even themselves for their dreams,
I want to meet those dreamers, the mad hatter’s, and the insane jokers.
People who want to grasp every star in the sky,
But don’t mind if they don’t.
I am looking for people
With capability to probe a million bizarre ideas,
Yet free from influence except their own,
People who intend to grow forever
And yet never outgrow
For people who are more than what they show.