In disbelief

She accepted his refusal
But
It squeezed out all the passion from her heart
Sucked in all the life from her soul,
Now she roams zombie-like, undead
And the cold words of people don’t instil shiver in her form
The heat of jealousy doesn’t burn her gut,
Phrases of praise have lost their meaning to her
And now, she is as good as The Thinker
Who sits sculpted, contemplating a single moment
Of ache, loss, and grief
Unaware, of people, admirers and haters
She sits accepting his refusal
Like a statue of stone, in disbelief.

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Situation called life

Every day I walk blinded
Thoughts like thick smog
Clad the light in my head,
And as the present turns into past
I lie in wait for the silence
To come and lay me to bed.

Every day pain comes
Like lightning crashes in the rain
Jolts me wide awake,
And as the day slowly transforms into night
I utter all false words of grace
Not for myself but for the world’s sake.

And then this situation called life

Repeats itself

Again, and again; and again.

Old age and youth

Lately, I have been missing you
Feeling the absence of your warmth
in this cold winter breeze,
I am apologetic
For when you were here
In the hot afternoons of the summer
I missed you out,
And I feel bad for another
Who had missed me so
long back in my youth.

Now I know your sorrow
I know that I have hurt you
But I hope you also know
That I love you like I loved the another
And still do,
And I miss both of you,
I miss my old age and my youth.

Joke

It’s funny how we live by
Killing parts of each other slowly
Murdering each other as we slowly die

It’s almost a joke
This sense of an incomplete loss
To fail to gain something we always had
Trying to be our own boss
(Aren’t we already?)

It’s funny how we dream
For a life, which is already present, in future
Forgetting that no matter how big and beautiful a it maybe; it’s always a river downstream

It’s almost really a joke
How we try to find ourselves in the past,
Forgetting to live now
Failing to leave an imprint that would ever last.

Oh silence,

Oh silence, my nearest and dearest
My only, and perpetual friend,
You stay amidst the presence of all
In my heart, hidden
Like the breeze is always upon the see
It’s a matter of if you feel or not;

Oh silence, my closest of acquaintances
You are there when no one is
Accompanying me when I am alone
And a considerate friend you are
Always awarding space to my thoughts;

Oh silence, my trustworthy and selfless companion
You never want and you never deceive
No misconception or misunderstanding
have I ever felt in your presence
You stay what you are and you let me be;

Oh silence, the medicine to all my woes
I never need an invitation,
And you always pay heed to my call,
In such statute-like stagnance you dwell with me
Yet never ask me to leave;

Oh silence, none but on you I can rely
And be at peace with the consolation,
You share all my secrets
And tell no one,
You embrace all the tears I cry,
And though I am a cripple at heart,
The day when I can no longer live
On your invisible wings, I shall fly.

 

Anatomy

Where is my heart?
Not sure it’s in me
I used to have a mind
But I lost it to insanity,

And now my soul
wanders in a desert of feelings
That stretches on
to nothing, to infinity.

What have I become?
Sure not someone’s dream
Feel like a blind
Lost in a storm inside the sea.

Nowhere to begin, no place to reach
And now my existence
Feels like its lost
to nothing, to infinity.

Living

Same rusting ironic memories
Melting by the fire lit by replayed melodies,
Same space-like space,
Trapped in the cage of transient time;
Living doesn’t feel like living anymore
And death is declared a crime.

Desires like statues remain stagnant
Neither are lost nor attained,
Will-of-self is an illussion
Nothing’s under the hat but confusion,
Company of the undead
Is sowing the seeds of degeneration;

Suffer better, suffer more
There is no other way to survive,
Control is not the game and names are prone to shame
The spirit dead has come to revive the knowledge that I had lost
And now living doesn’t feel like living anymore
And death is declared a crime.