A Glimpse of Self

I gaze at the mirror everyday
Today I caught a glimpse of myself,
Astonished, I was
To see all that I saw,
The wounds open, and crimson that
I inflicted on myself;
The expressionless patches made up of lies that hide them,
The elevations of my pride alongside the depths of my disgrace;
I saw a child, a boy, a man
When I looked into the mirror today,
Who once was and who will never be
Jaded by technicolour of knowledge, tanned by the heat of love,
I saw tears held back by the vision
And the anger left by submission,
I saw the blackened blisters of guilt
And the scabs on my conscience,
The diminished wrinkles of a smile long forgotten,
The shamefull frowns of deeds rotten;
And a million other substances of existence I witnessed
When I looked in the mirror today,
Amazed I was to see it all and yet, not recognize myself this way.

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Still here

I assumed that I was strong
Once again I was wrong,
I thought that the sticks of hope will do the trick,
Since there’s no fireplace here outside,
But the wind of your memories
Won’t let the flames stay,
And leave me in the cold to shiver
Blowing all the warmth away,

And I claimed that my head was sane
But it could not so remain,
And I sit here on this island of rocks,
With a deranged head, and a grieving heart,
In future I see infinity, though
My feet are ready to walk backwards
Time won’t let me go back to the start.

Your Fate Absolute

For all the hearts you broke
Yours shall shatter too,
For all the tears, you caused to drop
Your eyes will bleed too,

For all your negligence towards the ones who loved
You too shall roam in disregard,
For all the times you hurt their hearts,
On your soul, they shall inflict searing wounds;

For all those bitter words you spoke
You too shall be verbal abused,
All those tricks you played with the world
Shall soon come back to confuse

For all those times you insulted another
Your pride too shall fall,
All the times, you spent alone in selfish silence
Your cheerful moments would not last,

And all times you did not consider requested pardon
Your words too shall never find, an ear new,
For all those things you stole from them
Your more shall turn into few;

And it is nothing more, or less
It’s the payment of your dues,
Though tragic, in sound and action it is,
It’s your fate absolute.

In disbelief

She accepted his refusal
But
It squeezed out all the passion from her heart
Sucked in all the life from her soul,
Now she roams zombie-like, undead
And the cold words of people don’t instil shiver in her form
The heat of jealousy doesn’t burn her gut,
Phrases of praise have lost their meaning to her
And now, she is as good as The Thinker
Who sits sculpted, contemplating a single moment
Of ache, loss, and grief
Unaware, of people, admirers and haters
She sits accepting his refusal
Like a statue of stone, in disbelief.

Old age and youth

Lately, I have been missing you
Feeling the absence of your warmth
in this cold winter breeze,
I am apologetic
For when you were here
In the hot afternoons of the summer
I missed you out,
And I feel bad for another
Who had missed me so
long back in my youth.

Now I know your sorrow
I know that I have hurt you
But I hope you also know
That I love you like I loved the another
And still do,
And I miss both of you,
I miss my old age and my youth.

Like Always

I just feel sad
So sad, and empty
As those ancient hallways,
Which are lost to ruins and cannot be walked upon;
an emptiness that is in front of the eyes and still unseen,
This silence that reigns over
is so silent, and dumb
That I feel as if I am a corpse
reposing, slowly decomposing in a coffin,
And though it sounds,
and feels disturbing
It is also only the usual
This sorrow, this emptiness
These hallways and the coffin,
This decaying existence- so usual
It fails to make a difference to me,
To me it just feels like run-of-the-mill,
To me this just feels like always.