In disbelief

She accepted his refusal
But
It squeezed out all the passion from her heart
Sucked in all the life from her soul,
Now she roams zombie-like, undead
And the cold words of people don’t instil shiver in her form
The heat of jealousy doesn’t burn her gut,
Phrases of praise have lost their meaning to her
And now, she is as good as The Thinker
Who sits sculpted, contemplating a single moment
Of ache, loss, and grief
Unaware, of people, admirers and haters
She sits accepting his refusal
Like a statue of stone, in disbelief.

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Old age and youth

Lately, I have been missing you
Feeling the absence of your warmth
in this cold winter breeze,
I am apologetic
For when you were here
In the hot afternoons of the summer
I missed you out,
And I feel bad for another
Who had missed me so
long back in my youth.

Now I know your sorrow
I know that I have hurt you
But I hope you also know
That I love you like I loved the another
And still do,
And I miss both of you,
I miss my old age and my youth.

Like Always

I just feel sad
So sad, and empty
As those ancient hallways,
Which are lost to ruins and cannot be walked upon;
an emptiness that is in front of the eyes and still unseen,
This silence that reigns over
is so silent, and dumb
That I feel as if I am a corpse
reposing, slowly decomposing in a coffin,
And though it sounds,
and feels disturbing
It is also only the usual
This sorrow, this emptiness
These hallways and the coffin,
This decaying existence- so usual
It fails to make a difference to me,
To me it just feels like run-of-the-mill,
To me this just feels like always.

Leave Poem

Leave Poem

I did not go to the office today

Today, I avoided my work place,

Why? I am unsure

Maybe I just did not feel like today.

All night the previous night

I twisted and tossed and turned in my bed

while my mind in a fit vomited

Puked thoughts all night

And it puked so much,

that there came a little blood

And all I night I could not sleep

Lying awake, neither could I smile

nor could I weep.

When I woke up

the throat of my mind hurt,

From the incessant passage of thorny and prickly thoughts

And now it does not say anything

or think anything

Whilst I cried with a headache.

And the only words that mind could utter

were ‘I am Tired’

And cannot remain in the cage of these thoughts;

It cannot stay wired,

So my soul in the matter interfered

And decided that it did not want to go

to the office today;

for there I shall find people,

who are as alien as the moon

I see their light and the monster that squats

But I don’t see the beauty

I cannot feel the warmth,

So, I decided to not go and see them

I kept my eyes closed and stayed,

And I realised that I do not like what I do there

And hence I go to the office today.

 

 

 

A life, a dream, a disguise

A life, a dream, a disguise

A heart full of hearts

A mind filled with surprise;

 

A chamber to wallow

The world to observe

And myself to follow;

 

All in this life I have

Is a life, a dream, a disguise.

 

Back bent, knee straight

Alone I sit

Whilst peace awaits.

 

And as every moment of this eternal existence,

Surfs its way by

I ponder upon the latest lie,

 

For that is all I have

A life, a dream, a disguise

A heart full of hearts

A mind filled with surprise.

 

A life;

a dream;

a disguise.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me

It feels great to be myself now,

not a son or someone’s in law,

neither a friend, nor a foe,

Nowhere to come from,

not a place to go.

My myriad faces and their scars,

the body, mind, and my soul,

It’s great to be left only with them now,

Nobody to ask a question,

and none waiting for an answer.

There is nothing to lose,

No fortune, no fame

And there is no one to blame.

Now, it’s just me

And it feels great,

It feels like god being just me.